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The Girlfriend Effect

Back in high school, did you ever notice that when a guy didn’t have a girlfriend, no one wanted to date him, but the moment he had a girlfriend, all the other girls were suddenly interested? It’s the eighth wonder of the world. It’s amazing what happens though—it’s like this air of confidence takes over the guy and suddenly every girl in school has taken notice. Do you know what I’m talking about?

Well, the girlfriend effect is alive and well in churches today and it starts with the atmosphere you create.

But what does atmosphere have to do with church growth? Some of you might think the suggestion is an attempt to devalue the work of the Holy Spirit and the power of prayer, but it’s completely opposite. The fundamental component of any church’s atmosphere is the sense that God is among His people and is active in their lives.

Remember, the Bible says that Peter and John were clearly “perceived” as “uneducated and untrained men,” yet the onlookers “marveled” at their “boldness”—“And they realized that they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13).

They had a powerful spiritual walk that was evident. It created an atmosphere around them. People must be able to recognize that a church’s leaders and members have been with Christ and that His Spirit is active in the church. If it is not recognizable, the church will have a hard time making an ounce of difference in people’s lives. It is the cornerstone of the atmosphere you create.

So my challenge for you today is to continue to press into what the Lord has for you. When the Lord is the cornerstone of your church and the Holy Spirit resides there, it is evident not only to believers, but to visitors as well. It makes them want what you have—even though they may not know what it is.

© Richard L. Reising

Published on Thursday, January 15, 2009 @ 3:47 PM CDT
3 comments

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  • Tim

    It's always great to see people taking this kind of approach to their faith and to church building, in my opinion. I'm a sociology grad student, and my studies have led me to see Christianity from a lot of different perspectives. We have to look at all of the different angles involved with our faith, and one of those angles is the rational, "outside-looking-in" approach that this post advocates.

    There are observable sociological or psychological processes that affect the success of the church, and I believe that the Holy Spirit can use those processes--processes like the "girlfriend effect"--to grow his family. It only makes sense for us to be aware of how these things work, and to use them in a God-honouring way.

    Posted on Thu, Jan 15, 2009 @ 7:59 PM CST

  • JPratt

    I believe that the girl friend effect was once featured in a boy meets world episode. In the episode Corey had just started dating, when suddenly all the other girls in the school started noticing him. When he inquired to his best bud about the difference Sean told Corey that because he was now dating he had "the scent". He went on to explain that when a man is dating, "the scent" follows them everywhere and all women are drawn immeadietly drawn to that man. Not trying to steal your thunder just trying to give credit where credit is do.

    Posted on Fri, Jan 16, 2009 @ 3:57 PM CST

  • Paul Cooley

    Well said! If we would focus on allowing the Lord to live through us instead of putting on a show, how much more would the body of Christ truly walk in power and lives would be saved!?

    Christ in us, the hope of glory.

    God bless!

    Posted on Sun, Jan 25, 2009 @ 5:05 PM CST

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